


i will fear no evil

by Impala_Chick



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon Shane Madej, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hell Trauma, Identity Reveal, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23373004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Chick/pseuds/Impala_Chick
Summary: Ryan's recently returned from hell. He doesn't know how he got there or how he got back, but he does know one thing. He can't tell Shane.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 6
Kudos: 416
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2020





	i will fear no evil

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the fffc prompt _non timebo mala - I will fear no evil._
> 
> I have a whole fic headcanon about Shane pulling Ryan out of hell that may or may not get written someday. But here's Ryan feeling some trauma in the aftermath.

Ryan isn’t very good at being angry. Sure, it’s happened. Like that time his brother walked right in front of the television during the most climactic scene in _Singing in the Rain._ But he’s found that it takes a lot of energy to be angry. Energy that he can’t really muster up, not after.

For Ryan, his life is now divided up into two parts: _before_ and _after_.

He has a medium, Sharon, that he speaks to about it, and he’s endlessly grateful for her. She doesn’t judge, and she’s honest with him about whether he brought anything home with him after.

But it was easy to tell her, because she already believed.

Shane, though. Ryan can’t tell Shane that he’s been to hell. He’d never believe him.

Ryan barely believes it himself. But the smell of burning flesh stayed with him, after. It was on his clothes and he had to throw them away when he returned, because he couldn’t stand the smell. The sounds of so many souls screaming, the intense heat that nearly burned his flesh, the way he felt so small and so hopelessly lost - there’s no way he could have dreamed all of that up.

He’s not sure how he got out, but it happened just as quickly as he was dumped into hell. He was stolen out of his bed at night, with his pajamas still on. And then something plucked him back out and deposited him back in his house, albeit on his couch. He had only been gone about five hours judging by the clock on the wall. But it had felt so much longer than that.

When Ryan first came back from hell, he thought hunting ghouls would be easier. After all, he’s already seen the worst that could happen. 

But his body betrays him and he has the opposite reaction. He feels his heart beating right out of his chest, his body locks up from the terror, and he can barely breath. 

He knows what could happen, he knows where the evil things could take him, and he _desperately_ does not want to go back.

Looking at Shane, smiling and laughing and so blissfully unaware, calms Ryan’s heart beat and gives him the courage to keep walking.

He’s already faced his worst fear once. He supposes he can do it again.

He’s proud of himself for showing up and doing his job. After all, there can’t be a ghoul at every single location they visit. And Sharon keeps assuring him that he’s coping better than most.

But this shoot is the first one after, the first one where Ryan and Shane are spending the night on location. Ryan controls himself all day, but when he's asleep he isn't as collected. His dreams get away from him and he sees dark, splintered images full of fires and screams.

Ryan isn't angry when Shane grabs his shoulder and shakes him awake. He isn’t angry when Shane laughs in his face and asks him in the world he could possibly be dreaming about.

He’s just extremely disappointed.

His shoulders slump in defeat and he sighs deeply. He always thought Shane had his back. But it doesn’t feel like that now.

“Just shut up, Shane,” Ryan says, defeated. “You’re not helping.”

Shane promptly shuts his mouth and scrounges around for his glasses. Then he clamors out of his sleeping bag to kneel at Ryan’s feet.

“Was it hell? Is that what you dreamed about?” Shane looks deadly serious, his eyes intently watching Ryan’s face.

Ryan gapes at him for a moment and grips the cloth of his sleeping bag. It was a lucky guess. After all, Shane doesn’t even believe in hell.

“Yeah, right,” Ryan scoffs, trying to act like it’s not a big deal. 

Shane leans forward and grabs both of his forearms. Shane’s hair is fluffy and sticking up in all directions, and his lips are pressed together in a thin line. His eyes are wide with something like fear, which gives Ryan pause.

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Ryan says. “Quit looking at me like that.”

“I thought you wouldn’t remember,” Shane says, his voice shaky. 

It takes a moment for the words to process.

“What are you talking about?” Ryan says slowly.

Shane takes a breath. “I brought you back, Ryan.”

“This isn’t fucking funny, Shane.” Ryan scrambles backwards to get away from Shane’s touch. How dare Shane say something like that and act like he _knows_ -

“Look at me, I’m not fucking with you.”

Ryan can’t help it. He pauses automatically, and stares. 

Shane blinks and when he opens his eyes, they are completely black. For a moment, Ryan’s speechless.

Then Ryan actually does get angry. “Are you fucking kidding me, dude?” 

Shane blinks again and his eyes are back to normal. Or back to human, anyway.

“I couldn’t stop them from taking you, but I came for you as soon as I realized. I would never hurt you, you have to believe me.” Shane’s voice sounds a little panicked, and he runs his hand through his hair as he bites his lip.

“I’m - you - my best friend is a demon?” Ryan spits out the incredulous truth.

“So you don’t remember everything, then? Only parts of it?” Shane asks gently. 

Shane is looking at him like he’ll break at any moment. Ryan slumps forward as the fight drains out of him. All this time, he had no idea that Shane had been there in hell. That Shane had _rescued_ him.

Even if Shane is a demon, Ryan has to believe that he cares about him. They’ve known each other for _years_. He’s had ample opportunity to eat Ryan or send him to hell. Although, it could have been Shane who took him there in the first place.

Ryan shudders at the thought.

But he doesn’t want to feel so alone. Shane is being so tender with him now, and Ryan _knows_ him. Ryan knows he’s not a liar or a killer. And Ryan wants to believe him. He _has_ to. For his own sanity.

“The smell of burning flesh, it followed me home. I remember giant fires and my skin being inflamed from the heat.” Ryan pauses to gulp oxygen. “But the screams. Those were the worst. So many people just trapped there.”

“I know. It is no place for people like you, Ryan.” Shane takes a shuddering breath. “Can I hug you now?”

“Okay,” Ryan says, his tone flat. Maybe he’s still in shock from all of the revelations of the evening, he’s not sure. But he feels so raw and exposed. There’s nothing else he wants to say.

Shane comes forward and scoops Ryan into his arms. Ryan breathes him in. He smells like something woodsy and minty, and completely human. 

“We’re going to have to talk about this,” Ryan mumbles as he presses his face into Shane’s chest.

“Sure,” Shane agrees easily, pulling Ryan closer.

Ryan can’t deny how safe he feels with Shane’s arms around him. Shane rubs his hand up and down Ryan’s back, soothing him. Bone-deep exhaustion catches up with Ryan, and he already feels sleep claiming him.

“Please don’t eat my soul,” Ryan whispers, sort of as a joke but sort of not.

Shane doesn’t laugh.

“I would never,” Shane says solemnly. 

Ryan snorts and then settles in. He’s already been to hell. He’s betting that he can probably make it through one night of sleeping in a demon’s arms.


End file.
